Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Remembering Ryan

Tomorrow morning is March 12, 2008.
I don't particularly like this day on the calendar and if given the choice would have it permanently removed. March 12, 2008 is the 8th anniversary of the death of Ryan - our firstborn. It's hard to know what to say or to write about except that this is a day for my family to Remember Ryan.
Ryan Tindall - Ryan Marcus Tindall will always be my son. There are days that I feel like it has only been a little while since I have seen him and there are other days that it seems like it has been forever. I won't try to describe the feelings - I think only a parent that has lost a child would understand what I am trying to put into words.
My memories of my boy are these -
smiles - always, hugs - really big bear hugs, friends - lots of friends always at my house and always eating (lots of food), jokes - Ryan always had a joke or was planning one, going - always a new place to go and something to do, food - Ryan loved to eat and always appreciated his mom for "fixin" his "grubbin" food, kindness - my boy always had a big heart for helping others, family - Ryan would never miss being with family - he loved his family - especially his cousins and his grandparents, clothes - Ryan loved to have nice clothes and his mamaw always made sure that he had plenty, Big Brother - this should have been first - Ryan loved Nathan like no other brother could have, from the day Nate came home from the hospital, Ryan was the protector. From the time Nicole came home - Ryan was the teaser - except when somebody else tried to tease Nicole - then he was the defender.
I am blessed that we had Ryan on this earth for almost 20 years. I cannot imagine living without the promise that one day we will be together again - forever. Our God is the God of Hope and the God of Promise. His Son gave us both the hope and the promise that our end on this earth is a beginning of our eternity with him.
Thank you God for teking care of my boy until I get there to be with him. Tell him that I miss him and will see him when the time is right.
Be a blessing to somebody today,
Marc

4 comments:

Ginger said...

Marc,
This letter to God and Ryan is so personal I cannot find words to express just how special your relationship is with your heavenly Father and your beloved son, Ryan.
God bless you for your heart of gold.
Those wonderful memories with Ryan mean so much.
The AMAZING reunion is worth the wait.
Pearley and I love you.
Praying your pain will be removed today by the Heavenly Ones who love you too.
Hugs to you and Terri.
G. F.

Steve said...

Marc-- You put your trust in the right place my friend. God understands what its like to lose his only son. I don't begin to understand why he called Ryan home so soon. I do believe what Paul said as he described how the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words......even when our own groanings cannot be expressed in words. And yet he says "God causes everything to work together, for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose." I know you love God Marc, and there is no one more called to his purpose than you and Terri. We'll pray that he'll fill you with an extra measure of his peace this time of year. What stories you'll have to share with Ryan when you see him ....never to be separated again.
The children's home is a blessing for sure, but your greatest work may be in God's adoption process. His son's death was necessary for our adoption, and not only ours but all who believe......those you've taught.
Keep the faith my friend. Contact me when you get a free moment to let Karen and I know how we can help. God Bless You...Steve

Carla and Daryl said...

reading this letter made me sad and happy at the same time. i know you miss him terribly and i'm so glad you have such wonderful memories of your son. i love how you call him "my boy". i love that he was such a magnetic field to everyone around him and i LOVE LOVE LOVE that you will be able to see him again and get all the great big bear hugs from him that you want! we love you.

William said...

I miss my brother.....our bond was not of blood but of choice, which i think made it stronger. We did everything together and got into more trouble than I care to share. We were so young and full of life.....when ryan passed, a part of me passed with him. I still feel the gap that he took when he left.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking about what we would be doing now if he were still here.....

I know what i feel doesn't compare to what you and Terri went through, but it still hurts.

I bet Ryan has already made his way over to see Mom....i'm sure they have caught up and laughed about all the silly things we did....One day I hope to sit next to my brother, tell him that I miss him, give him a hug and spend a day walking and talking