Makes Me Laugh - The Top 10

I have lived in this little country for 3 1/2 years now and have accumulated a bunch of stories - some of which really make me laugh. Thought I would share some of them with you - here are the top 10 - not necessarily in the order of the least to most funny.
1. A couple of years ago, I went to the rock at Villa Garcia to have some morning quiet time. There was a young lady there and we started to talk - she looked into the sky and said "ohhh, look at the eagles, aren't they beautiful." I said, "well, those eagles are buzzards!"
2. I use Claro for my cell service and a couple of years ago, they had an ad slogan "que tienes mas" (meaning - what more could you want or have). I was taking a young lady to the E-Room when she saw the Claro sign and she promptly said - "I didn't know they play tennis here".
3. This spring I had a college team here. One night we were talking about the Casa chickens and one of the young ladies started asking questions about "pregnant chickens". I asked her what she thought the egg thing was all about.
4. Couple of years ago the license tag on one of my trucks was loose and I chose to drive it to San Pedro Sula anyway. When I was loading luggage in the truck, I noticed that the tag was gone - fell off between here and SPS. I went to (try) to get a new tag and found out that you cannot lose a tag here in Honduras, nope, you must report it as stolen. Had to go to the criminal division of the national police and report my tag as stolen.
5. Similar to my stolen tag - last week I lost a paper for my residency renewal and had to go to the criminal division of the national police to report my lost paper.
6. Driving here is better than going to MGM, Disney, and Six Flags all at once. The uninitiated (gringos) don't always understand. I like to put them with Luis in one of my trucks so they can get the full experience. One particular group with Luis was about to have a "group cry" as he was doing a blind curve pass. Luis turned to them and said "don't worry, I don't want to die too!"
7. Last summer there was a group visiting Casa de Esperanza. I walked past two or three teen boys who were standing near our Ana. Ana had a serious look on her face and said - pointing at one of the teen boys, "Marco, el molesta mi!". The teen boy went pale and I got a serious look on my face and said - what did you do to my girl. He was about to cry and said "well, not that!". I had to laugh and tell him that all she said was that "he bothered me".
8. Here, something like 25% of the cars are minus tail lights, break lights, or both. Nobody every seems to worry too much about those pesky details because you don't need them to see ahead of you or to drive the car. The most enforced car laws here are - seat belts and no talking on the cell while driving. Second most - you must have a safety triangle in your car.
9. About 4 years ago, my daughter was driving around one of the traffic circles and was hit by a taxi driver. The cab driver jumped out of the truck and started yelling at Nicole that it was her fault because he honked and she didn't move.
10. In Honduras the transito police require that you have a Honduras Drivers License after you have been here for 3 months but, you cannot get a license without having residency and it takes about a year to acquire residency. Go figure.......
What are your funniest Hondo moments?